She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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