I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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