Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
