I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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