you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
