Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
