I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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