Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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