3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Randomize
