who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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