I'm going to rape someone's good day.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
