the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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