I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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