so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
