my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
