I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
