I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
