A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
