you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
