considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
