can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
