their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
