I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
