Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
