Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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