that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize