You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
