the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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