I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Nobody cheats on THIS.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
