I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
