Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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