FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
We just shotgunned beers for America
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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