I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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