This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
