Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
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