I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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