I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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