dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just forgot I was standing up.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
