DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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