all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
