So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
