we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Watching her eat just hurts me
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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