yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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