Are we in a gay sports bar?
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize