I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
