flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
