We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
