im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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