Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
My pussy is not your playground.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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