my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
why do cheetos always look like penises
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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