my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
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