I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
