i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Dating After Heartbreak
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
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Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.