eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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