WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
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