does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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