I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
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