I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
