I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
