While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
