It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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