My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
