your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
You ruined the universe
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
