Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize