Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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