Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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