I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
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