dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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