i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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